Grace

It's not until after you've experienced the helpless state you're in, not until after you realize you don't have the power to do the right thing, that you realize the magnitude of grace. I never experienced the power of "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." until I experienced the helplessness of Romans 7. How does God still love me when I can't even stop doing the things I hate, and can't accomplish the things that are good? I was wracked with guilt all day and condemning myself, punishing myself for breaking boundaries and losing focus of the task God has entrusted me with. How can I lead girls when I'm broken? It's hard living in grace. I want to yell at myself and have someone scold me. But I don't have to punish myself...I shouldn't. Change yes. Just because there is grace I should not continue sinning so grace can continue to cover it. But punishing myself is just saying that Christ's death wasn't enough to pay for my sin, that I have to help pay as well.

Thank God for the people He places in my life! I was searching for a godly woman older in the faith, but too afraid to ask. He placed Meghan in my life. Never have I had to courage to share with a woman the pains and trails in my life. She accepted me with grace, showed mercy when the whole time I was waiting for her to condemn me. She gave me scripture to memorize in place of unrighteous thoughts, and used her spiritual gift of exhortation to pray over me.
I have every right to stand accused of wrong, but God does not accuse those who are in Him:

"But now He has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you as holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation" -Colossians 1:22

"For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you have received the spirit of sonship. And by him we cry "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. And if we are children, then we are heirs-heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory." -Romans 8:15-17

Live in peace, your hope is secured.